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Sub: Confidare India Men’s Rights Community Center announces celebrations for International Men’s Day

International Men’s Day (IMD):

International Men’s Day is celebrated in over 60 countries including Trinidad and Tobago, Jamaica, Australia, India, China, United States, Romania, Singapore, Malta, United Kingdom, South Africa, Tanzania, Zimbabwe, Botswana, Hungary, Ireland, Ghana, Canada, Denmark, Norway, Austria, Bosnia and Herzegovina, France, Italy, Pakistan, Antigua and Barbuda, St. Kitts and Nevis, St. Lucia, Grenada and Cayman Islands, on 19 November, and global support for the celebration is broad.

The main objective of celebrating International Men’s Day is to celebrate being a man, to recognize the contributions that men make towards the progress of the society, to salute the sacrifices they make for their near and dear ones, and to highlight the problems faced by them which may be addressed or unaddressed.

International Men’s Day began to be celebrated since 1999 after it was started in Trinidad and Tobago by Dr. Jerome Teelucksingh for whom his father was his role model.

Theme of International Men’s Day:

The theme of this year’s International Men’s Day is “Saving Men from Manhood”. Years of expectation of chivalry and risk-taking by men has turned manhood into a necessary evil for men.

Being a man has almost become synonymous with the man putting up with a lot of abuse silently as he is constantly bombarded with phrases like “Be a man”, “Take it like a man”.
More often than not men are disarmed before this language as the society has ascribed the role of a Protector – an unpaid bodyguard to the male and that role has no scope for vulnerability or weakness of any kind.
Realizing this, Confidare came up with the idea to sensitize the society about manhood and to educate the men about their rights. It was felt that International Men’s Day is the apt time to launch the social meme of “Saving Men from Manhood”.
With this theme, Confidare believes the abuse of men by society can be brought down to a great extent as it will help men open up their problems without the fear of being judged. A distressed man finds it extremely difficult to express his emotions, fears, and vulnerabilities when he is judged and is expected to “be a man” or “take it like a man”.
At the same time contributions and sacrifices that men make for their family and the society at large are generally taken for granted because it is expected that it is the duty of a man to give up his life for family and society. Such a social mindset belittles men’s contributions and sacrifices for the sake of the family and the society.
Confidare Community Center conducted a survey amongst urban men in four cities of Bangalore, Pune, Hyderabad, and Delhi. About 2000 men were interviewed across these cities. Collating the findings, several interesting trends have come out regarding men such as

1. Most men find videos of wife beating husband as funny. 84% men say domestic violence against men is funny.
2. 85% urban men are not aware of laws related to marriage like Hindu Marriage Act and other laws.
3. One in 12 married men between ages 25 to 40 is separated or is facing divorce.
87% men are more worried about safety of their parents than themselves, when their marital problems escalate. They hate to imagine, their parents going to courts.
Above figures are merely indicative and not exhaustive of the mental condition of men and also an indicator of the levels of awareness amongst men regarding their rights. Realizing that there is a huge awareness gap amongst men regarding their rights, Confidare felt it was the need of the hour to conduct such a survey and make it available to the society at large and what opportune an occasion it could have been other than the International Men’s Day.

Along with releasing the survey results, Confidare Men’s Rights Community Center has also organized a small fun event at Forum Value Mall at Whitefield in Bangalore on the eve of International Men’s Day i.e. 18th of November from 4 PM onwards.

There will be some fun games to participate in, win some cool prizes. The event is also aimed at creating awareness amongst people regarding International Men’s Day.

Why is it important to celebrate International Men’s Day?

International Men’s Day is celebrated to celebrate being a man. Today, there is a lot of social discourse going on about “being a man” and most of these discourses belittle and ridicule the vulnerable man.
As a result, most men live their lives under emotional suppression and are also mostly unaware of their rights.
International Men’s Day is celebrated to create a social atmosphere that embraces every man including his vulnerabilities and also to generate a sense of awareness amongst them pertaining to their rights.
It is celebrated to recognize and honor the contributions and sacrifices that a man makes for the society, family and his near and dear ones.
It is celebrated to create a platform for men to come up and share their problems, rather than worrying to protect their manhood.
As a result, Confidare felt it was a good occasion to celebrate International Men’s Day in Bangalore at the Forum Value Mall. We extend a cordial invite to our media friends and society alike in joining us and making the event a success.

India’s first domestic violence shelter for men opens its doors in Bangalore. Here’s one harassed husband’s story from inside the shelter. Francis Steven Dokka reports

For three months, a barely-furnished two-bedroom apartment on Bannerghatta Main Road was “heaven” for Prithvi (31). The apartment is a good advert for ‘bare and minimum’–bean bags and plastic chairs in the living room; mats and bedsheets for bedding and a kitchen that has nothing more than essentials –a fridge, gas stove, some plates and glasses, and filtered water cans. The place is bereft of anything that usually makes a cold house a warm home. But for many harassed husbands this has been ‘heaven’ when their own homes turned hellish. Welcome to India’s first domestic violence shelter for men.

]]> http://www.confidareindia.com/safe-house-for-battered-men/feed 0 http://www.confidareindia.com/photos-from-the-1st-anniversary-celebrations http://www.confidareindia.com/photos-from-the-1st-anniversary-celebrations#comments Tue, 19 Jun 2012 18:35:36 +0000 Confidare http://www.confidareindia.com/?p=151

Subject: India’s First Men’s Rights Community Center announces its first anniversary celebrations.

About Confidare Community Center:

Confidare India Men’s Rights Community Center, an initiative by Confidare Consultancy LLP is the first of its kind of concept in India. This center is an outcome of men’s rights movement in India. Confidare Community Center is established by some of the most prominent Men’s Rights Activists of India. These activists have spoken to and have made a difference to more than 3000 abused men in the last couple of years. These activists have also worked to bring great sensitivity to the issue of marital problems facing men.

Confidare Community Center provides guidance and coaching to abused and victimized men. These are the men who not only face bad and abusive marriages but many unfortunate ones also end up fighting cases of dowry/domestic-violence containing false and fabricated allegations. Experts at the center provide moral and emotional support to these victimized men who have nowhere to go and face a lot of discrimination in the society and the legal system.

The First year:

Confidare Community Center was inaugurated on the 27^th May 2011 and started operations from 3^rd June 2011. This June as we complete our first year, we look back and call it a successful first year passed. During this one year Confidare was contacted by at least 130 – 140 victimized men in Bangalore alone and around 80 odd men have taken up membership with Confidare in order to avail the guidance and coaching by Confidare experts.

Confidare also conducted 3 successful one day workshops for men. Of these, 2 were held in Bangalore and one was held in Hyderabad wherein men facing turbulent marriages were provided with information and awareness about their rights. In these workshops men were also educated about how to face crisis situations in marriage arising out of a matrimonial dispute and/or frivolous litigation.

The Need of Confidare:

Often, men do not have any support system and when they are abused, society refrains from supporting such men. Even as innocent men and their family members are arrested without any trial or investigation, these victims of injustice have no idea of how to deal with the situation. They often give in to the abuse by either paying huge amounts of extortion money, popularly known as “settlement money” to their estranged wives or commit suicide.

As per figures available with Union Home Ministry, in the last 15 years (1995 – 2010), 7.8 million married men have committed suicides compared to 4.5 million married women. And every year, the numbers of suicides by married men have been on the rise and in the overall suicides statistics; too, it’s the married men who are the toppers. These figures clearly indicate a serious undercurrent of abuse that men are undergoing silently in the absence of any dedicated support system.

Even the Govt. of India has not allocated even a single rupee for the welfare of men in the last 65 years of Indian independence. Not even a single study has ever been conducted to know the problems faced by men, even as 82% of taxes are paid by men. In such a vacuum of support for men, Confidare Community Center and its likes are the need of the hour for men to seek a semblance of support in order to stabilize in an abusive domestic relationship.

The Event:

Having had a successful run for the first year for the first men’s rights community center in India, Confidare India has decided to observe its first anniversary in the form of a small get together at Koramangala Club on the 10^th of June 2012 at 4:30 PM and seeks to invite all men who are facing bad and tumultuous marriage to be a part of the celebration.

The event will mark small presentations by Confidare experts and other prominent men’s rights activists who will be speaking about how to strengthen the cause of men’s rights movement in the society so that both the abuse of men and suicides by men can be arrested.

For more details about the event contact Virag @ 90083-02822 or Pandurang @ 80957-33000 or visit:

Event Description

On this occasion, Confidare extends a cordial invite to all to Koramangala Club Bangalore, on the 10th June 2012, Sunday at 4:30 PM for a small get together.

Event Details,

Date: 10 June 2012, Sunday.

Time: 4:30 PM – 7:00 PM

Venue: The Koramangala Club, CA-17, 6th Cross, 6th Block, Koramangala Bangalore – 560095

Ph: +91 80 25531864 +91 80 25525333 / 25520255 +91 80 42679000 – 30

Fax: +91 80 25529494

Email: koraclub@gmail.com

Web: www.koramangalaclub.org

For more details about confidare, visit http://www.confidareindia.com

On a cool Sunday morning, as Rukma, a prominent men’s rights activist of the Save Indian Family Foundation (SIFF), was sipping tea, his phone rang. Seeing an international number, he probably guessed the purpose of the call (yet another harassed husband as Rukma was a helpline for them), he picked up the call.

To his utter surprise, he found that the caller, who was an Indian calling from Hong Kong City, was a bachelor. As someone who helps married men in distress, a call from a bachelor on his helpline number was a new experience for Rukma. Nonetheless, he received the call.

The caller had called up to know the dangers of getting married in India. His apprehension was, that he owns quite a few properties in India and wanted to know, will his properties be safe, if he gets married?

What with the existing volley of anti-male and unconstitutional laws of the likes of Section 498A, the Domestic Violence Act and more in pipeline like the Marriage Laws (Amendment) Bill which talks of wife getting 50% of the share in husband’s property if she walks out of the marriage?

The caller was also worried about how he should convince his parents that getting married in India was very dangerous for a man as he endangers losing his entire life’s fortune with one stroke of a false complaint by his wife against him. He was facing tremendous pressure from his parents for getting married soon.

Another incidence was, when SIFF conducted a press conference voicing its grave concerns against anti-male property division clauses in the upcoming Marriage Laws (Amendment) Bill, 2010 which was followed by good amount of media coverage and the SIFF helplines were ringing with queries from both married/bachelor men on whether they should drop their plans of buying property or cancel their property bookings. The calls clearly reflected a wave of scare, pertaining to real estate shopping, in young men in the society with the new law.

Men’s Rights Association, a Pune based group batting for battered men, faced a sudden inflow of 45 new members in a single meeting just after they conducted a similar press conference in Pune about the dangers that men will face if the Bill, as proposed, becomes a law. Men, from all strata of society and across all age groups were worried just about one thing – “Is my hard-earned property safe?”

These incidents reflect a very sorry state of affairs for the male gender in India, especially young men, in the age range of 25-45, who are extremely vulnerable to age-old social discrimination against men. Young men constitute the most vulnerable section of the society as they are not only required to fulfill skyrocketing expectations from their families (wife, children, parents, in-laws, etc.) but are also left to fend on their own and no one understands their pains and sufferings.

Ironically, it’s this same lot of men who sweat it out, in order to, not only run their family, but the society at large as well, as it is this same lot that undertakes the most menial, dangerous and hazardous jobs, and it’s the same lot that faces societal ire in the form of ill-conceived anti-male laws which invariably attack the hard-earned wealth/property of a man.

Laws are nothing but vicious reflections of social attitudes, mindsets and assumptions. Especially, when it comes to gender-biased anti-male laws, it’s the assumption that takes center-stage.

It’s the assumption that all men are criminals and all women are saints that makes it very easy for a completely bogus and false case to get registered and the innocent man keeps running from pillar to post to get justice, but mostly, in vain. Because, here again, it’s the assumption that women have been discriminated against historically, while men have somehow enjoyed it, that impedes the path to justice for a falsely accused innocent man.

And, it is the same reason that we have only anti-male laws and no anti-female laws. Invariably all laws related to marriage/gender etc. talk only of arresting and punishing the man (the male) and always view the woman (the female) as a victim. This assumption completely overlooks some crucial facts like:-

1. Women criminals are very rarely punished and are paroled at large on account of their gender.
2. Historically, it’s the men who have lost far more lives/limbs in order to protect their own city, country, civilizations, contours, etc.
3. Today’s generations are descendants of 40% of the men who ever lived and 80% of the women who ever lived, which clearly shows the tremendous amount of male lives that have been lost by the human civilization historically.
4. It’s the men who protected and provided for women, children and elders, at their own cost and sacrifices.
5. It’s the men who have been committing suicides far greater in numbers compared to women, succumbing to social pressures, skyrocketing expectations and nose-diving acceptance levels.
6. Not a single law/procedure has ever been formed that will arrest a woman based on a man’s complaint, however, the reverse has been true since decades and uncountable innocent men have been thrown behind bars, tortured, humiliated and often subjected to barbaric conditions, merely at the unverified complaint of a woman.

Above facts, which are merely illustrative and not exhaustive in nature, are only the tip of the iceberg of the reality called misandry (referred to as social hatred against men).

It’s this misandry that stops the society from supporting awareness about men’s issues and also stops victimized, harassed and distressed men from talking openly about their abuse.

It’s this misandry that allows the unbridled creation of anti-male laws that are downright unconstitutional, undemocratic and inhuman in nature.

Whether, it’s Section 498A (popularly known as the dowry law) or Section 125 CrPC (maintenance law) or Section 376 (rape) or The Domestic Violence Act or the proposed Sexual Harassment at Workplace Bill or the Marriage Laws (Amendment) Bill, the formulation, drafting and the process of getting laws/bills approved and passed clearly demonstrate the extremely high levels of misandrous blood that flows in the societal veins and arteries.

Somehow, the society, including both men and women, enjoy it when the male gender is vicariously attacked. Anti-male laws, when they are passed, form the basis of celebration.

Men, when they are harassed, become objects of entertainment.

And anti-male practices, as they are practiced and promulgated, become foundations of social service.

For example, let’s see how this upcoming Marriage Laws (Amendment) Bill works against the interests of men. What came as a proposal to hasten the process of divorce from the Honorable Supreme Court of India was slowly metamorphosed into an effort free channel of passing tax free wealth from husband to wife.

Seeing, the growing number of divorce cases and the same leading to increase in backlog of cases and couples getting involved in redundant litigation, the Honorable Supreme Court of India proposed to introduce the “Irretrievable Breakdown of Marriage” clause in the Hindu Marriage Act, which also talked about waiving off the 6 months cool-down period.

All said and done, any proposal that did not talk about “taking care of financial needs of a woman” was just unacceptable to the feminists who raised a lot of hue and cry against it in the media and owing to rampant social misandry and also internal misandry in the media, the Govt. agreed to introduce property division with the following conditions:-

1. When a husband files for divorce citing irretrievable breakdown of marriage as the reason, the husband will lose 50% of his property to wife. However, properties owned by wife won’t be considered and also there was no mention about who contributed to the property. Also, it does not matter, when the property was purchased. Also, no clarity was expressed about the existing loans/financial liabilities for and against the property. Moreover, if a woman keeps on marrying and keeps on breaking her marriages, it means she would become a landlord on account of her gender as she ages.
2. When a wife files for divorce citing irretrievable breakdown of marriage, although, property division is not explicitly stated, however, the wife has powers to withdraw the divorce case if her “financial needs are not well taken care of”. However, husbands have been deprived of a similar right, only wives can withdraw divorce petitions at their whims and fancies.

Hence, in practice, both the clauses boil down to financial extortion of a man for a failed marriage and thus, the imminent question that arises is, “Is failed marriage a crime for men?”

This proposed bill must not be passed in its current form and there needs to be a national debate wherein organizations fighting for men’s rights must be allowed to incorporate their point of views and interests of husbands, otherwise, this bill, if it becomes law, will lead to:

1. Men refraining from buying property.
2. Crash of the real estate market.
3. The home-loan market going downhill.
4. Instances of divorces increasing, wherein, women would just walk out of marriages making false allegations against their husbands and harness their properties.
5. Incentivization of family breaking practices.
6. More suicides by men/husbands.
7. Men refraining from getting married.
8. More and more fatherless children as the proposed bill, is silent on child custody matters.

The choice belies with the society if it wants to continue with its frenzy of misandry or take some remedial steps and create gender-neutral laws and policies which work for the benefit of both men and women rather than empowering one gender at the cost of another.

Virag R Dhulia
Head, Gender Studies
Confidare Research

So a couple of questions came to my mind like,

1. Who are the feminists?
2. How genuine are their claims?
3. How tangible are the measures they propose?
4. How serious are the issues they rant about?
5. What if, they are ignored?

Let us try to answer each of these questions based on the data available.

Q1. Who are the feminists?

The feminists are none but a bunch of loser women who have never had a happy life and thrash out their sadistic concerns onto the society, especially men, and constantly keep on asking about one or the other concessions for women. Also, the feminists are big-time liars and they do not even refrain from uttering white lies even on national media to the extent of getting exposed. For example, yesterday, there was a TV debate going on in a very popular media channel and very famous and well-known women’s rights activist aka the Feminists were shouting at the top of their lungs that the proposed “property-division clause post-divorce” will apply only on property acquired post marriage. However, the truth is, as per a modified draft of the bill, it will apply blindly on all properties in the ownership of husband.

In another instance, they claimed in the media that, in 70% of the cases women are denied maintenance on grounds of adultery, which is causing grave financial hardship for women and thus, even adulterous women must be granted maintenance. However, when an application under the RTI Act was filed to know the source of the data of such horrendous and extravagant claims, the reply received was “The organization, that had earlier made the claim, had no such data”.

Feminists make huge hue and cry in the media about “Dowry-Deaths”. However, as a matter of fact, as per law, “any death of a married woman within 7 years of her marriage”, is to be ‘registered’ as a dowry death. Which means, even before investigation, the death is registered as a dowry-death in the official statistics and the same are never rectified, if later, it is found that the death of the married woman was not due to dowry harassment but some other reason like accident, insect bite, snake bite, disease etc. And, when they are confronted with the data about suicides by married men they vehemently deny that any such data exists.

As a matter of fact, data is available with the National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB), a unit of the Ministry of Home Affairs. Ironically, it’s the same department, whose report on dowry-deaths is used as a basis of unconstitutional, undemocratic and inhuman and anti-male dowry laws, that have been instrumental in getting millions of innocent people being thrown behind bars without trial or investigation and has also abetted the suicide of millions of innocent young men.

And the biggest blame for this social massacre goes to feminists, because they created such a big hoax about the so-called dowry harassment and dowry deaths of women that the society has gone blind in pursuit of a section of society popularly known as husbands and their families.

Q2. How genuine are their claims?

Majority of the claims of feminists are either false or highly exaggerated. For example, there have been umpteen number of cases where “dowry-death victims” (women supposed to have been killed by their in-laws for dowry) have returned alive while their husbands and in-laws rot in jail, as these women roam freely, putting a false case. And feminists support such women.

How can we just ignore the famous case of Nisha Sharma, who shot to fame in 2003 for allegedly calling off a marriage citing “additional demands of dowry by groom and his family, just before the marriage”? Fact of the matter was, Nisha, was already married and to hide her marriage, she falsely accused the groom and his family and ruined their life with a false criminal case. And, feminists hailed such a liar as “Icon against fight in dowry”. Well, when their icon herself is a big liar, one can just imagine the truthfulness of their own claims.

Feminists have never taken up the cause of young unmarried girls facing harassment from their own parents, in their natal homes, or the cause of widows who suffer social bias, or the cause of old women being harassed in their families, especially old mothers-in-law tortured by their daughters-in-law.

Feminists have readily taken up and blown the trumpet far out of proportion for young and newly married women because the money lies there. It is a highly politically correct issue to create channels of tax-free wealth transfer from husband to wife because the social role of a PROVIDER has been ascribed to a man and there is no concept of responsibility on a woman, nor are there any penal provisions for a woman not fulfilling her responsibility as a wife in a marriage.

Claims by feminists are highly bogus and when they are challenged with actual data, they come up with hollow analogies like Sita and Savitri.

First of all, these are all mythological characters and there is no evidence at all if they existed and the stories that we’ve been hearing about them since childhood have any iota of truth in it.

Secondly, assuming, it was true, how relevant are those analogies in today’s time, whence every year 72000 crores of annual budget is allocated for “women welfare” and none for men?

Feminists claim that men have historic advantage, but what exactly is the advantage that men have? Men, have always protected women, children and elders in society by taking maximum risks upon themselves, exploring unknown areas and making them safer for others to dwell and prosper. So, how can someone who lays down his life for others be oppressive?

Feminists never admit that women can be cruel and always justify abuse by women as their right. So, for someone who justifies abusive behavior as a right, one can imagine the genuineness of their claims.

Feminists are extremely vicious characters who simply exhibit, propel and emanate male-hatred. In fact, so deep is their hatred for men, that they are fine with not providing any redress mechanism to women, but are not ready to share the same with men.

I will not fail to cite here the example of a proposed bill called “Sexual Assault Bill, 2010” which talked of preventing rapes/sexual assaults of women inside police stations. When men’s rights activists demanded that the bill be made gender neutral because lakhs of male prisoners have been sexually denigrated, sodomized and raped inside police stations, the feminists simply withdrew the bill. This only proves their sadistic nature.

Q3. How tangible are the measures they propose?

All of the solutions that come from feminist have the same undertone – “Hard earned money of a man must go to a woman”. And they call this as women empowerment! How can someone be empowered when they are treated worse than kids and provisions are created that you complain and walk away with a fortune.

No self-respecting woman would ever support such an empowerment paradigm. In fact, those women, who do, are not real women. Undisputed sign of empowerment is entrustment of responsibility.

However, feminists call “imposing responsibility on a woman as her oppression”.

This single statement should tell us their thought process and any solution proposed out of such a thought process can never be tangible. For example, they are asking the Govt. of India to amend the Hindu Marriage Act in such a manner that in the event of a divorce a woman gets the children, half of husband’s property (irrespective of when purchased and who contributed) and alimony as well.

So, they are calling Incentivization of divorce as a sign of empowerment. In short, they are promoting breaking of family and unfortunately this misandrous society is not challenging them. They are promoting father-less society and thus contributing to growing crime in the society, as it is an established fact that a father acts as a role-model for children and children from broken families and grown up without a father are 8 times more likely to resort to crime.

Also, feminists are leaving no stone unturned in turning marriage into a crime for men from all angles. If a man stays in a marriage, he is abused by his wife and he cannot escape as there are no laws to protect a man. Also, feminists have effectively plugged any/all communication channels for men. And if he files for divorce he loses all of his fortune, his peace of mind and ends up fighting lifetime bogus litigations containing all sorts of false allegations.

Moreover, a single man faces a lot of problems surviving in the society. Banks do not give loans easily, getting a rented house is an issue and a single man faces a lot of problems in adopting a child as well.

Hence, feminists are totally focused on cornering men and it is said, “Even a cornered rabbit is dangerous”. So, in coming times, if these cornered men, resort to crime being exasperated and kill their wives, feminists will be solely responsible for this because they left no stone unturned in creating a society that simply exploits men and denies them even basic human rights. By the way, most of these men are brothers, sons and cousins of these feminists.

Feminists are promulgating economic parasitism for women, at the cost of men and are encouraging the women to indulge in victimization. Ultimately, it needs to be realized, are they really fighting for the larger benefit of women or are just unleashing their personal hatred against men because majority of these women, who claim to be women’s rights activists aka the feminists do not have a happy, peaceful and blissed family life.

Q4. How serious are the issues they rant about?

Feminists create cacophony and rhetoric without logic or data.

For example, how can they ignore the constantly rising suicides by married men and claim that women are the weaker sex whereas data clearly shows otherwise.

Or, how can they ignore the fact that, in our society, it’s not the daughters but the sons who are burdened with the responsibility of taking care of old parents?

Or, how can they ignore, that in our society women always marry up and it’s the men who marry down? Hence, in marriages, actually women are treated as second class citizens but no feminist till date has raised an issue about this insubordination of women in marriages?

Now, feminists are claiming that in 70% of divorce cases the women are left with no home to live, which means:

1. We should be seeing a lot of homeless women, but do we really see? (I have mostly seen, it’s the men who are homeless. Women always get some sympathizer, men get none.)
2. Feminists must have data about how many married women own properties and how many don’t?
3. Feminists must also have data about how many divorces are actually happening (it’s not the same as the number of divorce cases filed, because I have seen many of them getting dismissed and divorce not being granted.)

But when even the Govt. of India does not have the above data, how can feminists have? In fact, in the current discussion about the property division clauses, no data is being presented at all. Only arguments in thin air, are flying and media/society are taking it to be Gospel Truth.

These revelations cast a serious doubt on the seriousness of the issue because feminists are merely taking advantage of the general sympathy that women enjoy in the society and residual misandry that the society harbors against men and using both to the furnish their misandrist and saddist agenda of war against men/boys.

There are far more serious issues that the Govt. needs to focus on, rather than feministic issues and some of them being,

1. Economic reforms.
2. Price-control.
3. Corruption.
4. Bad Governance.
5. Police Reforms.
6. Judicial Reforms.

Keeping all this in view, the hollow issues of feminine victimization that feminists raise, majority of which are false, misrepresented and mythical, we can safely say that the issues raised by feminists are not at all serious and can easily be ignored.

Q5. What if, they are ignored?

Lot of good things will happen if they are ignored. The concept of men’s rights and men’s abuse will become mainstream. Abuse of men will stop and this will lead to a more stable society because ultimately it’s the young and disposable males of the society who slog it out to run our systems and if their rights are protected, overall life quality will increase, benefits of which will go to one and all – men, women and children, because, by nature men are sacrificial in nature and do not even think twice before sacrificing their own lives/interests for the sake of others.

No more anti-male laws will be created which will result in reduction of suicides by men. Our beloved sons, brothers, and men would live in a fearless society instead of the current scenario where men are blackmailed day in and day out owing to super-flowing feminist agenda in the societal veins.

Problems of both men and women can be addressed in a gender-neutral manner, as opposed to the current scenario wherein entrapment of men is projected as empowerment of women.

Hence, we see that feminists’ talk of women empowerment is very hollow and is narrowly focused on passing tax-free and effort-free wealth from husband to wife and rest all other issues are buried under the carpet.

Now, it is up to the society to decide:

“Do feminists really deserve the attention and seriousness they are currently enjoying?”

“Should not they be subjected to strong scrutiny about the claims they make?”

“Is it fine to punish a man on the verbal statement of a woman taking the same as Gospel Truth?”

“Should not, the feminists be punished for unleashing crimes against men?”

“Should feminists be allowed to exist?”

Subject: Confidare Research laments the falling grades of boys in schools and supports reservation for boys in St. Stephens College, Delhi.

Recently, the Principal of prestigious St. Stephens College, Delhi has proposed a 40% quota for boys as their enrollment in the college has dropped below 36% as girls take 64% of seats. Confidare Research welcomes this approach to tackle gender imbalance in the colleges and supports the principal for proposing this move courageously. It is a matter of great concern that a lot of affirmative action and positive discrimination of males is harming boys in our educational system. It is important that the nation and the education system should prevent themselves from failing to the needs of boys.

Why are the teachers of St.Stephens College complaining when they can see “all girls” colleges next door? Have not they heard of Chief Minister of Delhi, Shiela Dikshit planning to create university with 100% reservation for women? If people find no offence at all for reservations for women and all women’s colleges, then they should better get comfortable with all male colleges or reservations for boys as well. Out of 60 colleges in Delhi, 15 have 100% reservation for girls; i.e. they are “girls only” colleges.

It is unfortunate, if teachers start gender stereotyping and consider all girls as victims and all boys as privileged kids, who deserve discrimination. It is a matter of grave concern to many parents even as the number of male kids in many reputed schools has drastically dropped even at nursery levels.

“Stop War on Boys”

Many parents in Delhi are extremely concerned as even in the nursery levels some schools are admitting boys in only 10% of their seats and rest 90% are given to girls due to special points given to girls under “girl child” and “first child” categories. Almost 70% of seats are going to girls is most schools   at Nursery levels.

• There are exclusive colleges for girls like Miranda House where as exclusive colleges for boys or reservations for boys are considered chauvinistic and absurd.

• Delhi chief Minister Shiela Dikshit is planning for exclusive women only Universities, where no boys will be allowed to join. Under such background, there is a need for reservation for boys in St.Stephens and other colleges if their numbers fall behind 40%.

• Gender Equality must not be one-sided, especially in urban India.

• Most Schools have much more female teachers than male teachers. This gender gap is also affecting performance of boys in the academics.

• Government must create policies to reserve seats in schools for male teachers if their numbers fall below 40%.

• Confidare Research does not wish a situation like in US or Canada where only 40% students in colleges are boys and 60% are girls. Neglecting boys in the name of women’s empowerment can have very disastrous social consequences on a long run.

• We urge Government of India to create a specially committee to investigate the issue of boys falling behind girls in academics in urban India.

Mani Shankar Aiyer, who is opposing this move, fails to see the bigger picture of evolving complex gender equations. He studied at St.Stevens, when it was an all male college. He also is not aware of the situation in US and Canada, where the educational system starting from schools has failed the boys due to “war on boys”. Only 40% students in colleges in US and Canada are boys. Instead of looking at the issue with concern and working to take care of the needs of boys in educational system at least in urban India, these politicians are claiming that it is time to celebrate.

What if Mani Shanker Aiyer had opposed a similar move to reserve seats for girls and celebrated discrimination against girls?

Gender based discrimination cannot be selective and if it’s condemnable against women, the same principles must apply for men also otherwise the talks of gender equality are hollow.

Gender issues involving men and women must not be converted into zero sum games, where boys have to lose if girls have to be empowered. Such experiments have failed in west and they can create even bigger disasters in India.

Confidare Research demands,

1. That Government must create policies to reserve seats in schools for male teachers if their numbers fall below 40%. Similarly, schools and colleges must reserve seats for boys, if their numbers fall below 40%.

2. National Commission for Men be instituted so that issues of men/boys can be studied systematically and recommendations can be provided to Govt.

3. Men’s Welfare Ministry must be established that can work towards implementation of these recommendations.

4. Zero tolerance towards discrimination against men and positive discrimination of men must not be celebrated at all.

5. Gender sensitivity trainings to be arranged for teachers, from the male perspective, so that they can positively contribute towards the formation of a better society.

REFERENCES

Parents are concerned about discrimination of boys by schools even at Nursery Levels.

http://zeenews.india.com/news/delhi/delhi-girls-outshine-boys-in-nursery-list-too_758000.html

Thanks and Regards
Head, Gender Studies
Confidare Research

Subject: Strongly condemning the upcoming Marriage Laws (amendment) Bill

Introduction:

Confidare Research is the education and research wing of Confidare Consultancy that specializes in dealing with problems of men.

Confidare Research strongly condemns the upcoming “Marriage Laws (Amendment) Bill” that was supposed to be tabled today before the Cabinet.

This bill is a further evidence of the growing misandry (male hatred) in the society and how the society treats men as disposable entities. Even in this modern age when we talk of Gender Equality, the stereotypical patriarchal notion that the financial responsibility of a family should lay on a husband still prevails in the society, and this pervert social mindset is the root cause of abuse of men, especially husbands in a marriage.

In such a situation, where men are already burdened with so much of load, another law which makes divorce extremely costly for them is thoroughly unwelcome.

Highlights of the law:

1. This law recognizes “Irretrievable Breakdown of Marriage” as a ground for divorce.
2. While the law empowers the wife to oppose the divorce at any point of time if the husband has filed for divorce, it restrains the husband from doing so when the wife has filed for the same.
3. This law also contains a clause by which courts will be empowered to snatch away half the property of husband and give it away to wife.
4. This law only talks about women’s rights and has no considerations whatsoever for men.

Brief Background:

Due to demand from various quarters, this ground for divorce was introduced by the Govt. of India by way of the Marriage Laws (Amendment) Bill, 2010 which sought to amend the Hindu Marriage Act and the Special Marriage Act. However, the bill contained clauses that facilitated financial extortion of men.

The bill read that courts would have power not to grant the divorce unless the wife was paid adequate amount of money under the cute name of “Financial Security of Woman”.

And the bill also mentioned about special powers being given only to wives to oppose the divorce if the wife was unhappy with the money she received from the husband.

Such clauses being outright anti-male and gender-biased in nature were vehemently opposed by various men’s rights activists and organizations, who even deposed in front of the Standing Committee on personnel, public grievances, law and justice. The panel, chaired by Shri Santaram Naik, was presented with the objections raised by men’s rights organizations who sought to make the bill gender-neutral and ensure that no man faced any kind of financial hardship because of gender-biased clauses in the bill.

Oppositions ignored:

However, the objections raised by men’s rights organizations have been conveniently ignored by the standing committee panel, that has gone ahead and recommended the very clauses to the Govt. of India for the bill to be tabled, to which the men’s rights organizations has raised objections against.

What will happen if?

1. Husband purchases a property just 6 months after marriage out of his hard-earned savings earned before marriage and his marriage breaks and he loses half of the property. In that case the husband will be doomed.
2. Men start fearing this law and stop buying real estate which adversely affects the economy of the country.
3. Husband has dependent parents and owns a single property and if 50% of that goes to wife post-divorce, how will the husband take care of his old parents? Is the concept of family restricted to only husband-wife in the Indian context?
4. What, if the family is a Hindu Undivided Family (HUF) owning a single joint property? Will the wife get 50% of that? What about other sibling’s share in it?

Confidare’s objections:

1. Marriages are tumultuous for men. This fact reflects in the suicide statistics that are published year-over-year by the Union Ministry of Home Affairs and it’s the married men who top the list of suicide. Suicide rate of husbands’ increases 4 times the rate of wives’ and 6 times the rate they are born. Every 9 minutes a married man commits suicide. This fact clearly proves how bad marriages turn out for men and if divorces are also made costlier by way of such laws, this will lead to further increase in suicides by men. Is the Government of India trying to facilitate the suicides of men?
2. There is one more law in the pipeline – Matrimonial Property (Rights of Women upon Marriage Act), 2012 – which talks about making wife the co-owner of husband’s properties right at the time of marriage; then, why this law? Why is the Government hell bent on making redundant anti-male laws and convert marriage into an extortion industry thriving on men?
3. In a democratic law making process, objections raised by a particular group or individual cannot be ignored without any proper justification. The panel has failed to give any just and proper reason as to why the objections raised should not be considered.
4. As per Dowry Prohibition Act, any demand of cash/kind in relation to marriage is “Dowry”. Is not this law legalizing dowry to be paid to wife from husband under the cute name of “Financial Security of Wife”?
5. Right to Equality is a fundamental right guaranteed by the Constitution of India and cannot be disrespected under any circumstances. Current bill thoroughly violates it, as far as men are concerned.
6. Feminists are claiming that nearly 80% of women do not have a place to live post-divorce. This is completely false because no such study has ever been conducted. India does not have any standard data collected as to how many divorces are happening, of those how many own a house and how many do not, how many are nuclear, joint and HUF families. Without any such data in place, any claims made are just airy claims without any data. Formulating a law on airy data is dangerous.

 Confidare’s demands:

1. Marriages and Divorces should not be made a property-transfer-bureau.
2. If property division is to be done then wife’s share in her ancestral property must also be considered and then division must be done.
3. Duration of marriage must be a crucial factor of consideration. The difference between a 2 month marriage and a 20 year marriage must be clearly understood.
4. Property division must take into account contributions made by both the spouses and also the fact that the property was acquired from wealth earned post marriage and not from previous savings.
5. Any and all outstanding financial liabilities on the property like loan for property, loan against property, mortgage etc. must also be equally divided and wife must be made to be equally paid for it. If she is not working then she should get her share from her ancestral property.
6. Both the partners should have equal and unbridled right to oppose divorce and there should be no gender-bias in this.
7. There should not be any power wrested with the courts to decide upon property transfer or stalling of proceedings as the Indian judiciary is highly incompetent and has not shown positive trends favoring men when it comes to disposing cases. The Indian judiciary is highly anti-male and does not consider twice before ordering a man to either “sell his kidney” or “beg, borrow or steal” just to pay maintenance to his estranged wife. What is the guarantee that the same judiciary will make judicious decisions when it comes to this law?
8. Institute a National Commission for Men, that can systematically collect issues, concerns and problems of men, study them and recommend to the Govt. about measures to be taken to address those problems.

If the Govt. of India does not take these considerations seriously then we have only one message for the hardworking Indian men, who think putting self before others, is a social norm –

Your hard earned property does not belong to you.