Male Empowerment – Is that so Difficult?
Male Empowerment – Is that so Difficult?
Today, expectations from men have skyrocketed. Men are expected to behave like no less than super-heroes in order to get a semblance of what we call a “social life” and any man failing to meet the unrealistic expectations, is easily disowned by the society. More often than not, movies portray male protagonists as nothing less than super-heroes. Only, of late, a few movies like Delhi Belly have had the spirits to actually show normal and ordinary men, not so successful, in life as protagonists.
Otherwise, by and large, social expectations from men have always been very high. And such high social expectations have resulted in a highly unhealthy psychological upbringing of boys resulting in a mutilated emotional health of men, as the boys grow up to be.
As we saw in “The Difficult Times of being a boy”, little Harsh was chided and criticized for issues incomprehensible for the psyche of a 5 or 7 year old. But because of our perverted social attitudes towards the male gender (which includes boys too), it is very easy to attack the emotions of a boy.
This behavior also reflects one more social reality, that when the boy grows up to be a man, whether he likes it or not, whether he wants it or not, he has to take the Primary Financial Responsibility, the role of a breadwinner. And as such, society and parents, thinking that they are making a strong man, not only trample upon the emotions of a boy, even our social setups are so formed, that they deprive boys and men of choices in life.
When I say, choices in life, even today, in this 21st century, a young boy or an adolescent boy faces enough criticism for not taking a white-collar career, if he so wishes to. And enough roadblocks are put up in his path, if he chooses to follow his dreams and have a non-conventional or a visibly unpredictable career.
- The persistent and pertinent question that is thrown at him is, “How are you going to ensure you earn enough to support your family?”
- Is that all, a boy/man is supposed to live for, as a provider for the family?
- Just act like a FREE ATM MACHINE, a bonded labor and keep on providing for parents, children, wife and siblings?
- What about that man’s personal wishes and desires?
- Sacrifice them, merely because it doesn’t look feasible to support both personal desires and family?
- And follow a social path that probably looks defined and has provisions that will earn the man enough to provide for his family, even if it tramples his dreams, and just satisfies a perverted social expectation from a man?
I recollect a TV show, where noted Bollywood Choreographer, Remo, was talking about his childhood days. He wanted to be a dancer and a choreographer right from childhood and dance was in his blood. However, his parents were averse to him taking upon dancing as a career and their question was, no prizes for guessing, “Son, how much will you earn in it?” And this question for not for Remo alone, as his parents were well aware that he will feed himself properly, but they were more worried, “Will he earn enough to support his family?” Still, Remo is a boy and the, family in question, does not yet exist. And, yet, for a non-existent family, Remo was being forced to think about. He was being made to kill his present for an unknown future; and all this, merely, because Remo is a male.
Although it is an altogether different story that ultimately Remo not only followed his dreams, but made it big as well. However, the issue here is, there are millions of such males like Remo who are forced to kill and sacrifice their personal dreams, wishes and aspirations in life merely because they are males and are “supposed” to support an unknown family. Not, every male, can be a fighter like Remo to have realized their dreams, but does that mean it is fair to trample their dreams merely because they are weak males?
- And if so, then why is no thought given by the society, the media, and the government for “Male Empowerment?”
- Is “Male Empowerment” so difficult that it necessitates killing the emotions, dreams, wishes and aspirations of young males, adolescent boys and young men just to escape the social responsibility?
- Is it that important to preserve existing social structure that males, as a gender and a clan, be pushed to psychological suffocation wherein they lead a robotic life – running on social instructions – sans any FREEDOM OF CHOICES?
Today, the media is replete with news of crimes committed by men and with anti-male sentiments provoking male hatred (misandry) and the society, including men, is silent about it. Because, we have so high expectations from men and because we take them for granted, society holds only those men responsible for the crimes reported, against whom it is reported.
We are forgetting the famous quote by Henry Thomas, “Society prepares the crime, the criminal commits it”. Squarely blaming men for crimes is not going to reduce it, it will rather increase it. It is pertinent to realize that even if a man commits a crime, he does not do it by choice; he is rather forced and cornered to such an extent that he is left with no other option to have his voice heard. Notwithstanding crime and nor an attempt to justify crime, but it must be pertinent and enlightening realization that crime can only be reduced eliminating the crime and not the criminal.
Lack of choices in men’s life and lack of “Male Empowerment” are two key indirect contributors to crime as it wipes off the trust of the society from the man and he takes to the ultimatum. Crime by men is not a disease, it’s just a symptom; symptom of a far more serious disease – Misandry and Male Disposability. Choice belies with the society, whether to work on symptoms or to attack the disease, the root cause.
In my opinion “Male Empowerment” is the call of the day, what do you think?
Tags , adolescent boy, being a boy, breadwinner, choices in life, delhi belly, emotional health, few movies, financial responsibility, male gender, male protagonists, ordinary men, pertinent question, social attitudes, social expectations, social reality