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Safe Marriage Training by Confidare

Confidare’s Safe Marriage Training (link) is for educating unmarried men and their parents about how to effectively deal with any marital problems so that it will have least impact on one’s well-being, finances or career.

Every young man getting married in India must get educated about how to deal with marital problems and how laws related to marriage work in India.

Every year thousands of young men call Confidare to seek help and guidance to deal with serious marital problems. With so many men approaching us, we have found that most young men live with a lot of myths and assumptions about marital life, which is fast changing in modern India. Lets list down some of these myths below:

Myth 1: If a guy is considerate and caring for his wife, he will not face any marital problems.

This myth is based on men’s thinking that nothing bad ever happens to nice guys. Unfortunately, this category of guys suffer most if their marriage starts failing. The more they try to compromise and adjust, the worse it gets. Finally, they face into serious psychological distress apart and their career is also gets affected due to these problems.

Myth 2: If a guy or his parents do not take any dowry or any costly gifts from bride’s family during marriage, then they will never get a dowry case (section 498a), if there are marital problems.

Most guys suffer from this myth because they have too much trust on the Govt, Police and courts. They think, if they prove that they have not taken any dowry or gifts, then there is no way anyone can implicate them in a dowry case. They do not understand that in India, the court system does not look at any evidences while registering a case. It takes 5 years to look at proofs where as he and his family keeps running around courts in false dowry case.

Myth 3: Divorce is rare in India.

Men believe in this myth because they have not seen any divorces in their parent’s generation. Due to stigma, a lot of men do not talk about their marital problems or divorce in open. So, this creates a false perception. In reality, at present the divorce rate in India is about 5% to 7% and it is increasing. That means one has 1 out of 20 chance of getting divorce in India and it will reach 1 out of 10 as guys grow older. There are approximately 125,000 dowry cases filed in India every year and most of them are false. There are about 500,000 marriages breaking in India every year.

Myth 4: The best way to deal with serious marital problems is to take divorce and move on.

Most men do not understand that contested divorce is very difficult in India. That means, if a husband or wife wants divorce and the other party denies it even after separation then it takes 6 to 8 years to get divorce.

Myth 5: Young men do not have to pay alimony if wife is highly educated or working.

Most men do not understand how alimony negotiations work in India. The Govt has instituted multiple laws in favor of women so that they can negotiate a huge amount of alimony in the courts, often using threats. Often, men are made to buy divorce by paying huge sums of money. It is not unnatural for a woman to demand 50 lacs rupees or more for a marriage of one or two years.

Myth 6: If one faces marital problems, he should speak to wife’s parents and the mediators.

Most men assume that wife’s parents do not wish to ruin their daughter’s marriage, while in reality far too many parents encourage their daughters to separate from her husband just because of their ego clashes with son-in-law. Most often these people want their daughter’s husband to separate or cut off relationship with his parents. If a young guy does not comply to their whims and fancies, they create trouble for him, even when he and his wife may not be having any serious differences.

All these myths make men trivialize marital problems and as a result worsen their situation. For example, many young men buy apartments taking loans after marriage with wife as a co-owner, even when she does not make any monetary contributions for loan EMIs. In fact, often their own parents tell them to buy apartments. These men risk losing the entire house, if they face marital problems.

Men learn about traffic laws before learning driving. But, men do not learn laws related to marriage before getting married. With 500,000 marriages leading to separations or court cases, it will be stupid if men still continue to ignore how laws related to marriage can create havoc in their lives. Often their parents suffer the most and lose their face in the society.

The biggest impact of marital problems on men is the emotional trauma they go through. This also seriously impacts his career and any work opportunities in foreign countries. Many men lose their jobs as they have to run around multiple courts. Every year, thousands of men commit suicide or get killed due to marital problems.

Unmarried men and even their parents can attend this 2 day training. The training includes following topics and it is delivered by experts, who have coached more than 10,000 men in last 10 years.

  1. Recent cultural changes in India
  2. How to manage expectations in marriage
  3. How to handle differences and conflicts
  4. How deal with parents and in-laws
  5. Laws related to marriage
  6. How to safeguard oneself in marriage
  7. Prenuptial agreements

You can enroll in the Safe Marriage Training by clicking this link. A bit of education can save you a lot of pain, misery and money, if you face any problems.